Surrender
by quidditchplayersturnmeon
Summary: "I never had the never to ask, Has my moment come and passed?" future Finntana one-shot based off the song Surrender By Billy Talent.


**A/N: I'm contemplating writing a few one-shots (maybe two-shots) based on songs. This was sort of my test run one. It's based of the song Surrender by Billy Talent as I said in the description. They're a great band, not for everyone but what music is? :P If you ain't heard them i strongly suggest giving them a listen.**

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><p>Surrender<p>

_**(Surrender) every word, every thought, every sound.**  
><strong>(Surrender) every touch, every smile, every frown.<strong>  
><strong>(Surrender) all the pain we've endured until now.<strong>  
><strong>(Surrender) all the hope that I lost you have found.<strong>  
><strong>(Surrender) yourself to me.<strong>  
><em>

_- Starbucks, where else? Xxx Santana_

_- I'll be there soon, get my coffee? Xxx Finn_

He saw her straight away; she was sitting outside in the sun with a book in one hand and her coffee in the other. Tight blue jeans, knee-high, black leather boots and a red vest top under a black leather jacket; every guy that walked past was checking her out and he didn't blame them.

He sat opposite her and she silently passed him his coffee.

"Hey, how's the book?" he asked her.

"No idea, I haven't been paying attention," she told him, putting it down and taking a sip of coffee. "I was just hoping to pull, it shouldn't be this difficult to find a hot girl, maybe a dancer like Brittany, but with Quinn's brains, a smart girl would be fun to argue with…"

"Well good luck with that," he told her, taking a drink too. He felt a pang of jealousy but suppressed it with practiced expertise.

"I got a new perfume today," she told him, holding out her arm with her wrist facing upwards. "How do I smell?"

"Mmmmm, good," he told her, breathing her in. 'Better than good,' he added silently. "You definitely won't have trouble getting laid when you look and smell like that,"

"You say that, but…" she took another sip of coffee and went back to her book. Finn watched her, her eyes flickering subtly each time a pretty girl walked past. She brushed a lose strand of hair behind her ear and looked up at him.

"What's got you in such a good mood, anyway?" She asked him, alerting him to the fact he was grinning stupidly.

"Oh nothing, just a nice day is all, we don't exactly get many in Ohio do we?" he explained, leaving out the fact that she was what made it a nice day, not the weather. She shrugged and went back to her book momentarily but put it down again.

"You know how you're my bestest friend in the whole wide world?"

"What do you need?" he asked her, smirking.

"I need a wing man for tonight," she told him. She sensed his reluctance and gave him a pleading look, "please, you know what I'm like in a dry spell, I'll probably set your whole apartment building alight if I spill a drink."

"Oh, fine!" he said, giving her a forced smile. She beamed at him and turned back to her book and they sat in silence for 5 minutes finishing their coffee.

"So, have you spoke to Brittany lately?" she asked him, still pretending to read in an attempt to seem like she didn't care.

"No, not since you asked me two days ago…" he said, earning him a slight glare. "You realise it would even be obvious to someone that didn't spend every day with you that you miss her?"

"I do not!" she insisted, Finn gave her a knowingly look and she caved quickly, "Fine, I do! But we were together for 3 years, I'm allowed to miss her."

"Exactly, San, you're _allowed_ to miss her. You can stop pretending, especially with me," he reassured her.

"I guess," she sighed, "I'm sorry for always leaning on you, Finn"

"Hey, don't apologize, you need support so I'm happy to help," 'Especially when you mean everything to me' the voice in his head added. He laughed lightly, "It's better than when you used to berate me with all your insults, what happened to that Santana? I kind of miss her," he joked.

"She's still here, she just tolerates you, but if that's a problem…" she warned him, grinning.

"No, no, I'm okay," he insisted, laughing.

"Speaking of dry spells, have you managed to get yourself a lady friend you're interested in yet?" she asked him.

"No, not yet," he lied.

"Come on, Finn, you need to get back in the game!"

"Why? I'm having too much fun playing your referee," he told her, making her laugh.

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><p>"How does this look?" she asked him, spinning.<p>

"Wow, fantastic," he breathed, "Devil in a red dress…"

"That's what Kurt said about my prom dress," she told him laughing, "Maybe you should go into fashion."

"Shut up!" he told her, laughing along with her.

"You do need to start dating again though, Finn." She said, checking herself in the mirror, "What sort of girl would you go after? I should probably know this but since the only girls you've ever really been interested in were Quinn and Rachel and they're like opposites, you don't exactly have a type."

"I don't know really, any girl I'd go for would weirdly be a lot like you," he said then laughed to disguise how true what he was telling her actually was.

"Maybe grow a vagina if you want a girl like me," she joked, winking at him in the mirror.

"Speaking of girls… Are you ever going to talk about what happened with Brittany?" he asked her for the hundredth time.

"No." she told him bluntly and walked away pretending to look for something.

"You are going to have to open up some time, you know" he pressured.

"And some people build walls for a reason," she said curtly. Her expression softened slightly, "Do you ever think about what you'd do differently if you could go back in time?" she asked.

"Sometimes…"

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><p><em>As he watched her sing with Mercedes, Rachel at his side, he felt on odd loneliness. He always knew she was hot but he didn't know why he was suddenly feeling drawn to her. The sex meant nothing, there was no feeling… he felt nothing for her, or did he?<em>

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><p><em>She looked hot in red, beautiful. He had almost forgotten to breathe as she tied his tie and now she was suggesting he leave Rachel for her.<em>

'_Yes!' the voice in his head screamed, but he couldn't. This was a wedding, he couldn't leave Rachel at a wedding, he loved her and Santana was just a one-time thing. But as much as he tried to convince himself of it, he wasn't too sure._

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><p>"<em>You were my first and that means something to me… You mean something to me! And if something were to happen to you and I didn't do everything I could to stop it, I could never live with myself," he told her, knowing that she would never know exactly what he meant by 'something'.<em>

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><p>"Well? Would you change anything?" she asked him, becoming visibly impatient with his daydreaming.<p>

"I don't know, probably… I just wouldn't know what to change until I went back," he told her. He wondered if he would have told her how he felt if he could get a second shot. 'Yeah right, that would have gone down well, I would have told her I love her and she would have punched me in the face, maybe ran me over with her car'. He shook the thought from his head.

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><p>"Well that was a shit night," Santana groaned as they entered Finns apartment. "Did all the pretty girls leave Ohio after we graduated? You should come with me to California when I go back. You could live with me, and I know you want to get as far away from New York as possible."<p>

"You know, I'm really tempted," he told her, his stomach fluttering at the thought of moving in with her. "But we might have had better luck tonight if you didn't get us kicked out of the second club,"

"Hey that bouncer had it in for me!"

"Of course he did! You called him a hairless orang-utan and an overweight glorified door with eyes…" he pointed out, "Those weren't even close to some of your best lines, either."

"Well whatever, it still sucked. I was hoping to find at least one pretty flower, but it was like digging through a shit load of weeds,"

"There was one flower there," Finn told her.

"Where? I checked out every girl there, the pretty ones were stupid bitches and the nice ones were seriously lacking in the babe department. If you liked any of the girls out tonight I seriously think you need to re-evaluate your taste in girls, even Berry would be a step-up,"

"Erm, you do realise you were a girl that was out tonight, right?" he asked her, holding back a laugh.

"Oh, shut up, you're not funny!" she said, throwing a cushion at him. He picked it up and threw it back at her, she ducked and picked up a second cushion and threw it straight at his face. He picked it up as she picked up the first one and she began beating him with it mercilessly. He fell backwards onto the sofa and she straddled his lap, pinning him down and hitting him more.

"Ok, I surrender! I surrender!" he said between blows to the head. She dropped the pillow and flung her head back, laughing hysterically. She looked back at him and he found himself staring into her eyes, the words left his mouth before they had even fully formed in his mind, "I'll always surrender to you…"

"What?" she asked him, jumping off his lap and stepping backwards.

"Nothing, I didn't say anything!" he lied, unconvincingly.

"Oh my god… The flower comment, and wanting a girl like me… oh my god, Finn! What the fuck!" she shouted at him, starting to freak out, "we're supposed to be best friends, you… do you love me?"

"Santana…" he breathed, not wanting to lie again.

"When the hell did that happen? Why?"

"I don't know! Some time between sleeping together and graduation, he confessed. We have gone through so much shit together, finding out about my dad. The whole coming out mess… Brittany, Quinn, Rachel, Puck… everything! You were the only thing that made all of the past few years bearable and you're the only person who has stuck by my after all this time, that must mean something, right?"

"You're insane… We're… we're just friends…" she said, stumbling over her words.

"I know; I get it. You're not mine, you never will be," he laughed darkly, "How could you be? You're gay, I'm permanently out of the running…"

"Finn…" she said, unsure of how to react, "I mean, like, maybe in high school…"

"I know it's too late now, the moment has come and passed, I wish I had told you sooner or asked you how you felt, I just never had the nerve…"

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah, I know, depressing ending. That's kinda how the song goes though, my next one should be cheerier, I'm thinking of writing a Puck/Shelby one based off What I Go To School For by Busted. I might do a few from my other fandoms too if I find the right songs.**


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